At least she knew i love her
by Natta
Summary: A sad little BekaDylan ficlet. Beka comes back from an away mission, but its not what anyone expected...


At least she knew I love her  
  
By Natta  
  
Summary: A sad little Beka/Dylan ficlet I felt like writing. Warning, very angsty.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
I want to cry, but I don't. I'm the captain, I have to be strong. I can't show how helpless I feel at the sight of her body, battered, bruised and bloody, lying slumped on the floor of the Maru. The body of the woman that I have secretly loved for three years now. Her usually blonde hair is now red, and I don't have to think long about why. Blood is all around her and I want to kill the bastards who did this.  
  
It was supposed to be so easy. She was going on a simple mission with the Maru, just to pick up some stuff from a planet. Something went wrong on the way back. She was attacked, by whom I don't know, but I think they were thieves. I don't know what they took and honestly I don't give a damn. They left the Maru drifting and that's where we found her. I don't know how long she'd been lying there but I pray to the Divine we're not too late.  
  
'Dylan,' Trance's stressed voice adresses me, 'we need to get her to medical, now!' She looks very worried and upset and my heart beats hard as I, as carefully as I can, pick her up in my arms. I have a hard time holding back my tears at the lifelessness of her body and the sticky feeling of blood that touches my body. I walk with quick steps, but careful not to hurt her anymore and Trance hurries after.  
  
'I can't tell you much right now, but I know she's lost a lot of blood. I would guess she's been lying there for a while before we found her.' I give her a quick glance, and she does not look cheerful to say the least.  
  
'But you'll be able to save her, won't you?' Trance doesn't answer, either she doesn't hear me or.I shake my head. Let's not go there. I look down at her pale face. A long cut crosses her neck and there's a bruise on her cheek, apart from that her face is relatively untouched. The blood in her hair must come from a wound on her head somewhere, but i don't bother to look for it. It seems like an eternity before we reach medical and I gently put Beka down on one of the beds. I gently caress her cheek before I turn to Trance who is frantically working. She injects Beka with something and then proceeds to do things that I don't understand.  
  
'Can I help with something?' I ask carefully, not sure if I disturb her. She nods without looking at me and points to a pile of bandages.  
  
'Get her clothes off and look over the wounds, try to stop the bleeding.' I don't hesitate a moment before ripping her black shirt off. This is no time to be prude. But nothing could prepare me for the sight that awaited.  
  
She isn't wearing a bra, but her naked body is so covered up in blood I can hardly see anything anyway. I don't know where to begin, but take one of the bandages and carefully start to clean off some of the blood. Soon I find a few of the cuts and bite my lip. I have never seen anyone looking like this before. I quickly grab the bandages and start to wrap them around her body, furiously blinking away the tears that keeps blurring my vision.  
  
I rip her pants of, and if anything could be worse, this is it. I am actually surprised her legs are still kept together. I don't care about wiping away the blood now, I just wrap the bandages around her legs. I look up at Trance who has attached a little device to Beka's neck and is now looking at a screen, quietly. When I look closer, I see that she's crying.  
  
'Trance,' I say, my voice trembling. 'What's going on?' Trance looks to me, tears silently running down her golden cheeks.  
  
'There's nothing I can do for her Dylan,' she whispered, 'she lost too much blood.' My eyes widen and I walk up to her.  
  
'There has to be something we can do!' I cry, 'she can have my blood, can't we inject her with it?' But Trance shakes her head.  
  
'No Dylan,' she says, sobbing, 'it's too late. She's going to die.' I cry openly now, not caring about being a captain. Right now I'm just a man who is about to loose the woman that he loves - and she will never know that I do.  
  
'How much time?' I ask and she looks up at me.  
  
'Just a few minutes,' she answers, turning to Beka and looking at her. The faint rising and sinking of her chest is the only sign that she is still with us. When Trance walks around her to cover her body with a blanket I hear something, just the faintest of whispers but to me it fills the room with the sound I most of all want to hear.  
  
'Dylan?' I rush up to her and her blue eyes is watching me. So weak. So pale. I never thought I'd see Beka Valentine like this.  
  
'Don't worry Beka, you'll be fine.' I honestly don't know why I'm lying, it just slipped out of my mouth. But she shakes her head, ever so slightly.  
  
'No Dylan, don't lie to me. I'm dying, I can feel it. I'm right, aren't I?' I nod slightly and she looks as if she's about to tell me something, but then the door opens and Harper enters. He rushes up to Beka and smiles at her.  
  
'Hey boss, I was a little worried there for a while but hey, you look just fine!' I swallow deeply but decides to stay out of it. 'Don't worry,' he says, gently stroking her bloodied hair, 'you'll be on your feet in no time.' She shakes her head and smiles ever so slightly.  
  
'Not this time Harper, not this time.' His face turns from relief to shock as the words begins to sink in.  
  
'You don't mean.' He looks up. 'Trance!' Beka grabs his hand and makes him look down at her again.  
  
'The Maru is yours, I trust you to take care of her, okay?' He nods and I notice he's crying to. Trance comes up and they look each other in the eyes. No words seems to be necessary, but Beka gives her a small nod and she leaves to stand at Beka's head, gently stroking her hair while tears falls down.  
  
'Does it hurt a lot?' I ask softly and she turns to me.  
  
'No,' she says, 'I can't feel anything now. I'm not scared either, not anymore.' She gasps and turns her head up.  
  
'There's not much time left now,' she whispers. 'But I have to tell you, before I go. I love you Dylan. I always have.' I lean down to kiss her soft lips. I get a weak response, all she can manage.  
  
'I love you too Beka, I will always love you.' She smiles weakly, but then she begins to gasp and her eyes rolls back in her head.  
  
'Beka.' I whimper and I vaguely notice Harper's hands clenching the sheet that she's covered with. Her eyelids closes and her head falls limply to the side. Trance swallows deeply and looks at the monitor.  
  
'She's gone.' I want to scream, but I don't. I turn up her head and look at her carefully. Her lips are slightly parted and I can't resist the urge to lean down and kiss her again. My tears wettens her pale skin. The doors opens to reavel Rommie and Tyr who rushes in. I don't say anything, I just carefull break the kiss and settle her head back on the bed. I can't explain anything to them now, not right now. Beka is dead and that's it. But.at least she knew.  
  
At least she knew I love her. 


End file.
